25 cheers for 25 years | a collection of things i’ve learned thus far


birthday selfies, per usual

Yesterday, December 12, was my 25th birthday (oi) and in the spirit of “End of The Year Lists” I decided to put together some random things I’ve learned during the first quarter of my life on Earth.

I tried to keep this list light and funny-ish, but sometimes you sit down and things get deeper than expected. Enjoy!
1. I have both experienced so much and so little in my moderate 25 years on this Earth.
2. I truly believe I have been able to reach the highest threshold of human happiness and also the absolute rock bottom within a few short years. This isn’t to say that I won’t ever be that happy again (because I’m sure I will be) or that I won’t have bad things happen (hopefully not that bad) but I do think I have a sense of the spectrum.
3. Baseball players, whether former or current, are always the best and the worst.
4. The Yankees suck.
5. Sometimes, your path takes you somewhere and on an adventure so drawn out and grand when the only purpose of it all is to meet the closest people in your life.
6. Going to your adult job still drunk sucks.
7. Going to your adult job severely hungover sucks.
8. Going to your first adult job sober really sucks.
9. There is so much truth to the statement “you’ll never remember the nights you had plenty of sleep”.
10. blink-182 was spot on when they said “nobody likes you when you’re 23”. Honestly my least favorite year on Earth.
11. Nebraska is my least favorite place to be in America.
12. If you can successfully road trip across the country with your friends and not kill each other, you will be friends forever.
13. When choosing between two paths you will always wonder what if you had gone the other way. Always, even if you don’t think you will.
14. I have no idea what I want the rest of my life to look like and that’s okay because that’s the fucking beauty of it.
15. The most unexpected people leave the most potent mark.
16. God meets you where you are. Not kidding. But it is kind of funny.
17. The only way out is through.
18. I finally learned how to apply lashes after 25 years. This year already looks brighter.
19. Sneezing is hilarious if you think about it. You are forcefully and uncontrollably letting germs escape from your body. And it sounds weird as it happens. Someone try to tell me how this isn’t funny.
20. When you want something, all the universe really does conspire to help you make it happen. Patience required.
21. The moments and the people you share them with are easily more enjoyable, important and memorable than the things.
22. There are so many things out there in the world, and they are all just waiting for you to discover them.
23. HBO is the best network on television. Closely followed by Bravo and E!
24. You can’t hate someone or something you understand.
25. This truly is a God-dream and I wouldn’t have made it this far without him.
Happy Birthday Frank Sinatra! Forever my birthday twin ❤

the STARBUCKS HACKING | it’s not what happens, it’s how you handle it

snapchat art from last red cup season (@jessicalynnn12)
my friend derek took this picture of me in my natural habitat with a starbucks in one hand and a sugarfree red bull in the other before the worst final i ever took in college. we both passed tho


This morning was so amazing that I was PUMPED to see what the rest of the day had in store for me. I popped right out of bed at 5am to go to Hot Pilates with my fave instructor. The class was BOMB and after showering and getting ready, I even made it into work early.

As I sat down to begin chipping away at my pile of things to get done, I looked at my phone to see not one, but two emails from Starbucks. Starbucks wanted to thank me for reloading my Gold Card twice, for $100 each. Initially I thought my Merm (mother – no I can’t make things simple) was being really nice and was missing me. I called her and quickly learned that she misses me, but not THAT much.


So I called the bank and talked to three people for 30 minutes and to spare y’all the details, they cancelled my card, blocked the fraudulent charges from being processed, and are sending me a new card within 7 – 10 business days. Cool. Thanks US BANK!

*I kept my debit card info in the app so I could reload my card quickly and easily. I now see how big of an issue that is*

Then I called Starbucks – and was fully prepared to tell them exactly how shitty I found their product and that if I ever saw a green mermaid again I would violently vomit my protein shake from post-pilates. Graphic.

But you guys, the lady was SO NICE, so SWEET, and even admitted that the Starbucks Mobile App is fucked. She quickly removed all of my banking card info from the app, helped me change my password, and promised a full refund from Starbucks. Ok, ok, I see you Starbucks.

Then she told me (and this is where EVERYONE NEEDS TO PAY ATTENTION):

“I ALWAYS reload my card in store. ALWAYS. This is the time of year when the app gets hacked the most.”


my fave downtown lv coffee shop: the beat ❤

The Lesson in all this….

It’s not WHAT happens to you, it’s how YOU HANDLE it.

Thanks Patricio (my dad – no I don’t make nicknames simple)

I could have handled this by crying (I was about to), screaming (I really wanted to), and telling everyone I came across all about this really shitty thing that ruined my really good Friday.

But I didn’t. I remained zen, calmly gave all parties the info they needed to help me solve the problem, and am now able to tell all my friends this story so you can go remove your banking info from the Starbucks app so you don’t get stolen from!

And thing is…all of these people: at US Bank, at Starbucks, my boss who found me in a frantic state – wanted to help ME. Granted the majority of these people make their living by helping people like me, but still they were all SO NICE AND HELPFUL! I also didn’t want to ruin their days by being the random bitch from Vegas who got her card info stolen and was now screaming at them like it was their fault, because it wasn’t.

So now I’ve learned three things since 8:22am:

  1. Don’t trust the Starbucks App with your banking info (or probably any app)
  2. Make all your passwords difficult to decipher and different from each other (NOT “ilovethechainsmokers123”)
  3. Today is still going to be a really good day (FRIDAY!!!)

Cue Bob Marley cuz every little ting is gonna be alright! MON!

Happy Friday! Enjoy this picture of me caressing a pumpkin at a pumpkin patch last night (as seen on insta:: @jessica_oneida)


Justin Bieber, I have a bone to pick with u | the importance of forgiving yourself

this cringe worthy photo of 18 year old me and a Justin Bieber cutout is brought to you by Facebook and it’s failure to mysteriously erase my embarrassing lack of judgement.

Welp, this is exactly why I don’t commit to anything lightly. Two days into BLOGtober and I fucked it up. I failed the mission to post a blog everyday in this great month we are experiencing. And I started to beat myself up over it, but then I realized something really important. Which led me to this blog post. Which now brings us to the thesis of today’s entry:


Yes that’s right Justin Bieber, there is more to it than just loving yourself. I am now of firm believer and soap boxer preacher of the fact that you cannot love yourself until you forgive yourself.

I get that it’s not an easy task. It’s truly, truly not. Except recently, I’ve discovered just how necessary it is.

I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life. A. LOT. To add to that, I’ve done and said a lot of things that are so worthy of the “Cringe of The Year” Award. Swear to Cheesecake Factory you guys, I’ve said things that, thinking about them now, make me want to go sit in the corner of my closet with my fall boots, cover up with my leopard print Snuggie and scream.

For real, it’s been that bad. But at the same time, every single word was true.

Whether I was telling someone I was sick of games and wanted a relationship or I was asking them creepily where they lived (for clarification purposes, of course) – everything I said, I stand by.

This week, in my opinion, has been particularly cringe-y, but has also opened my eyes. Why you may ask? Because I finally embraced my inner Siggy Flicker and STOPPED CARING!

For those who don’t keep up with the Jersey Housewives, Siggy is one of the “new girls” and this is her tagline:

“Some people think I’m too much. They’re absolutely right!”

I’ve loved her and the tagline since the new season began, but I always found myself arguing why it couldn’t be mine. Whether I was justifying how I needed to “play things safe” for the sake of a future career or whatever it was that I was justifying, I always put it back down. The motto wasn’t mine, not because I didn’t want it to be, but because it “couldn’t be.”

This week I called BULLSHIT and that all changed. Plus, Siggy responded and retweeted me today, so, YASS!🙌

Some background info: It wasn’t until the end of my 23rd year (December 2015) that I not only realized, but I started to own “my crazy”. And lately I’ve started embracing it even more by sharing it with the world.

Because I got such a great reaction when I let myself get hella competitive while playing (and winning) 5 consecutive flip cup games with my office director at the work happy hour on Tuesday. Or the amused responses I receive when I let myself be 100% authentic (and hilarious) on Snapchat. (@jessicalynnn12 – do it.)

And that’s the kind of shit I love. Being my crazy, hilarious, authentic self. All I’ve been hearing lately is to “be yourself and you’ll attract the right people” and I’ve finally forgiven myself of the cringe-y stuff I do and say daily because I doubt it’s changing anytime soon – and why would I want it to?!

Once you can forgive yourself, it allows you to fully understand how awesome you are, and after that you can be EXACTLY who you are regardless of what people think because the right people, the people who are meant to be in your life will find you, stick around, and support you.

Like my best friend Jordan says, “If you have haters, you’re doing something right.” I agree amigo, I agree.

So what I’m going to The 1975 next week solo? So what that I don’t have anyone to go to Kanye with at the end of the month? I find myself to be such good company now that I’ve forgiven myself for being me. Why would I let anything or the lack of anyone stop me from doing everything and anything I want to do with my one, short life.

To end, I’ll leave you with some words from my wise Patricio (my dad):

“Life is either a grand adventure or nothing at all”

(No this isn’t his quote, but he says it all the time so he gets partial credit)

So forgive, then love and embrace yourself and go on the biggest adventure you can imagine! Turn up the Bieber! Live your dreams! Make a friend! Go play in traffic on Las Vegas Boulevard!

Ok, that last one, don’t do. I see it too much. I live on LVB and I can’t stand the humans that don’t use the crosswalk.

Anyway, Adios til next time my Adventure Amigos!

me, being me, in my natural enviornment

PS – I’m a sucker for an alliteration. Makes my heart sing.

PSS – Does my sarcasm and hilarity transfer through words? Or am I going to have to start a YouTube channel? Serious question.





*Siggy GIF is from eonline.com

i didn’t know – prose for a sunday night | BLOGtober day 2

The last time we talked I said that I loved you right back
The last time we woke I saw the pain in your eyes beginning to crawl back
I didn’t know love could come on this strong
I didn’t know love could run so deep
I didn’t know love could force me to hurt you when really I was just looking out for me
But I don’t know if love is what exists between you and me

beginning of BLOGtober | the importance of challenging yourself

Today is the FIRST DAY OF HALLOWEEN!!! or October if you’re not Halloween obsessed like I am. It’s my favorite holiday and I feel that it deserves a month-long celebration.

It is also the first day of Blog-tober (still working out how I’m going to stylize the name) and I am so ready for this challenge to roll. Ever since I saw one of my favorite bloggers, Helene in Between, do Blogtober a couple years ago, I always thought to myself “I wish I could do that”.

Some of my favorite YouTubers take on the “Vlogmas” challenge every year and I love seeing what they come up with. You could say I’ve been observing and “sponging” (soaking everything up – yes I made this word up) for a while now.

Well here I am two years later, many vlogs down, and one very necessary attitude adjustment (I despise the phrase “I wish”) and I’m DOING THE DAMN THING! Blogtober Challenge…Accepted!

I think it’s very important to challenge yourself, in many different ways and areas of life. For example, two years ago I decided I was going to train for and run in the Salt Lake City Half Marathon. I was so proud of myself for completing the race that I decided to do it again the next year. Challenge accepted and succeeded.

Through the preparation and actual running of the race I learned how to persevere in order to accomplish my goal even if things got difficult and physically uncomfortable.

I find that challenging yourself is not only a way to spice life up and actually go out and live it, but to also keep sharp in other areas. It’s been proven that physical activity helps relieve stress and having things to look forward to (a daily challenge to accomplish perhaps?) helps to motivate us as humans through the more mundane parts of our day.

Here’s to challenging myself this October! I don’t have a set structure or prompts that I’m following or a certain post time, the daily blogging after I’ve been so inconsistent with it for the last few years is enough for me!

Be sure to subscribe to see this BLOGtober Challenge go down! : D

*Note:: all of these photos were taken in Vegas LAST October.

And yes that is Skrillex : ) ↓

talkin’ post festival blues | life is beautiful recap!

After one month, the EDC Las Vegas withdrawals had finally set in and I was DYING for another festival. Thankfully this weekend brought Life is Beautiful Festival, set in Downtown Las Vegas. It was a weekend of sunny, mellow days and cool fall nights with a healthy dose of art, music, good vibes, and DANCING. ALL. THE DANCING.

This was my very first time attending the festival and I can say I was very impressed overall. I find the vibes at a festival to be crucial and at LIB they were soooo good. Everyone I ran into seemed genuinely stoked to be there, willing to take a photo for you, and eager to make room on the dance floor. Or maybe they were sick of getting hit in the face with my hair. This is a very real and understandable possibility.

Another impressive part about this festival was the art installations. From the pinata motel to the murals on the buildings, DTLV was looking so beautiful and I was proud to be a Las Vegas local!



The selling point of this festival for me was the lineup. When it was released in May, I couldn’t believe the variety in terms of performers and I purchased tickets the same day. I loved being able to see G-Eazy, The Temper Trap, The Lumineers, Die Antwoord, and Duke Dumont all in the same weekend. I love a good mellow set (The Lumineers) for being able to chill out before I go show off my fancy footwork (Duke Dumont + a dark dance floor = a happy Jess).



I was so happy that I finally got to see Gryffin, Zhu, CID, Mija, and The Lumineers and none of their sets disappointed. Festivals provide such a great opportunity to discover new acts and it’s become one of my favorite things to do. Before this weekend I had never listened to KAYTRANADA, but he had one of thee grooviest sets of the weekend. And I didn’t really care about seeing Ghastly, but I went because my friends wanted to and I was so glad I did.




I also have to mention the backdrop to this three day beauty: Downtown Las Vegas, or DTLV as I lovingly call it. Being a Vegas local has been such a fun experience for me over the last year. I absolutely love telling people that I live here and how unique this city is. This festival created an environment that complimented Downtown perfectly and showed attendees a side of the city not everyone sees.



Festivals are about getting lost, opening your mind to new experiences, chilling out and generally enjoying your life. Eliminating the bullshit and having the time of your life dancing, vibing, and letting the music speak. I swear I’ve learned more about life and who I am through festivals than half of my college classes.

And even though my neck is sore from Excision and I’m walking with a limp because my left calf is sore from attempting to shuffle – yes, just one calf – I can confidently say that the post festival blues are so real.

This weekend truly was a fantastic and beautiful experience.

Thanks Life is Beautiful!!

So…how long until next year?