So here we are – I’m back on this blogging thing. I’m sitting on the patio of a local coffee shop in the sunshine on a Sunday afternoon. The people around me are studying for the GRE, having an in-depth, existential conversation, getting THEE perfect candid (staged) Instagram photo and are experiencing potentially the weirdest second date/morning after coffee I’ve ever witnessed. I hope for this weird date’s sake that they’ve known each other for years and this is what it’s like to be comfortable with a significant other in public. Otherwise, I should probably go over there and save her. Should I send a note on one of the many pigeons that dive bomb the plates of avocado toast at the table next to me? Should I walk over there and deliver the note myself?
*EDITING NOTE: HE JUST SAID YOU DON’T KNOW ME WELL ENOUGH TO KNOW THIS YET SO THEY HAVE NOT KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR YEARS (OBVIOUSLY). YIKES.
I decide the best bet for me is to just sit here, observing their conversation, trying not to stare…too much. But I get distracted easily so here we are.
If you didn’t at least smile at any of that…I don’t know why you’re here. You can stay but if you don’t interpret my sarcasm and humor well, I’m not sure why you would stick around.
So now that I’ve distracted with humor and pigeons long enough, let’s get into it. It’s weird to be “back” again because the truth is I hadn’t planned on jumping ship for so long. Once I was gone, I didn’t really plan on coming back to this. I got the month-in-advance reminder that I was to renew my WordPress membership and domain name and I though “okay what are we actually going to do with this?” (Yes, I’m a we – me and the voices in my head. Now known as the socially acceptable, inner monologue.) Spoiler Alert: I decided to get back into blogging.
Truthfully, Kobe was the catalyst in all of this. His death shook the entire world, including me. It really brought to the forefront that life is short and that I needed to stop wasting my time. So for the last month or so I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about who I am, what I’m doing and where I’m going versus who I want to be, what I want to do and where I want to go.
Being in my late 20s has been weird. I know I’m not the first person to be in their late 20s or to even write about how weird it is. I get it Boomers, I’m no different from or more special than any other Millennial with social media. (Also really hate the fact that I just used “Boomers” in serious context. I’m cringing, truly.)
Regardless, being in my late 20s is weird because I’m old enough to realize that my dreams from childhood require a lot more work than I thought they would. I’m also at point where a lot of people give in to the path of least resistance, sit in a cube, collect paychecks and bet on all that PTO for the next 50. At the same time, I’m young enough to have the hope and ambition needed to do whatever the fuck I’ve been wanting. (If you’re going to comment below and scold me for cursing on the Internet, just unfollow now. I don’t need another grade school teacher telling me I shouldn’t be behaving this way on the Internet. Like lady, you’re the one that wanted to be my Facebook friend what do you expect? True story.)
I think we’ve had enough examples lately to show us just how short life is and after a lot of overthinking (thx anxiety!) I’ve decided it’s just time to do it.
I’ve been a writer my entire life. I have notebooks and notebooks at my parents’ house with poems, journal entries and rewritten lyrics to Hawthorne Heights songs. I wish I was kidding. When I was on study abroad in Spain I was reading Fitzgerald and Hemingway and wishing I could have been an expat in Paris during those golden years. Now here we are nearly ten years later and it’s time to commit. (The real “C Word” if you ask me.)
I’m going to start blogging more. The truth is I’ve felt extremely guilty for not doing so. Especially because a) I pay for the url and b) I understand how important showing up consistently is to growing on an online platform.
Looking back, I think I struggled with this blog because I thought if you were a blogger or talked to yourself on Instagram stories then you were automatically an influencer. That is not something I’m interested in. I will not be walking around in dino stompers and ironic 90s outfits talking about some subscription box. No shade but it’s not me and I don’t want to do that.
What I do want to do, however, is write, tell stories and share my love of the Las Vegas Valley. And how better to do that than blog while also working on the book(s) that are in my head.
Blogging is writing. Look at all the Youtubers that are now making movies and working on other projects. Okay maybe not the greatest example but you get where I’m coming from. You can’t get to where you want to be if you aren’t working on something.
So that’s what I’m looking forward to – getting back into this and writing the stories that have been living in my head for some time.
Here are some other things I’m looking forward to:
*Coronvirus giving us our lives back. I’m firmly in the middle of “everyone needs to calm down” and “THIS IS A CRISIS.” I understand that people are really sick and I don’t want to get sick myself but….chill out with the toilet paper and hand soap purchasing.
*I’m planning on running 2020 miles in 2020. All of this running will help me prepare for my first full marathon! I will be running the Rock n Roll Las Vegas Marathon in November and I only hope they have fixed the course by then.
*Traveling to places I’ve been and love as well as finding some new places to experience for the first time.
*Where the hell Tom Brady will actually end up. But for real, the speculation is killing me.
*Speaking of football – I’m actually excited for the Raiders to play here. It used to solely be for the economic investment that my tax dollars have made into that damn stadium. Now I think it will be a cool experience. We’ll revisit this topic when I have to drive home from work during Thursday or Monday Night Football.
*Another glorious Stanley Cup Playoff run from my beloved Golden Knights.
We have a lot to look forward to with this year still, this decade and life in general. The future isn’t as hopeless as all of these media outlets make it seem.
So thanks for reading and praise be that Mercury is out of Retrograde!