Well, well, well…I never thought I would see this kind of post on my blog…The Taylor Swift of it all. And before you bring up the fact that the article I’m discussing came out two months ago, I know. It’s relevant because her new song came out last week and I love it
(besides the fact that it feels like she’s ripping off Kacey Musgraves), which is the first time I’ve loved a single of hers on the actual release day. But also, if she can release an article about turning 30 seven months before she actually turns 30, I can post this now.
Now don’t get me wrong, I have loved this girl’s music since Drew was the reason for the teardrops on her guitar. The music has always been quality and her voice has always been fantastic. Those things were never my issues. My issues were with her and how she chose to live her life. As an adult looking back, however, I think I was judging her too harshly based on my own lack of experience. I mean, the girl is only three years older than me, but she did not have the luxury of making all her mid-twenties mistakes from the privacy of a college town. No way, she was making them for the entire world to see. So for that, I’m sorry TSwift for judging you.
Okay now let’s move on to what I actually want to discuss: the Elle Magazine article – 30 Things Taylor Swift Learned Before Turning 30. My Sagittarius sister doesn’t actually turn 30 until December 13th (one day after me) but since her next album is coming out soon the cover and article timing were perfect. And perfectly in line with her notorious cryptic messages.
Since I’m almost 30 myself, I decided to sit down and give this article a few complete reads through, to see what I agreed with, what I disagreed with and what I could learn from and take away to do better.
So here are my favorite takeaways from the article..
#3 – “Trying and failing and trying again and failing again is normal”
We need to be okay with not being good at everything. I can’t even count how many times I’ve not tried things because I thought I would be the only one who wasn’t good at the thing. As I’m getting older, I realize how silly that sounds. I’ve been taking small steps to make sure I’m trying new things, even though I know I won’t succeed at first or even at all. In fact, last night in my kettlebell class I tried a new move and it was much easier than I thought it would be. This is what life is about. Trying and experiencing and learning.
#5 – “Banish the drama”
Oh my hell, I figured this one out a long time ago. Somewhere between hysterical girls leaving me threatening voicemails (true story, still hilarious) and over dramatic boys lighting couches on fire, I decided I was over the drama. The small shit doesn’t matter and I really don’t care to play politics in friendships, relationships or life.
If you want someone (who has not purposely hurt or abused you) in your life, let them in your life for God’s sake. Playing the whole “I’m not texting them because they’re not texting me” or “Well he took 14 minutes to text back so I have to take 1 hour and 27 minutes to text back” game is bullshit. Don’t keep meaningful people out of your life just to prove a point.
#8 – “I learned not to let outside opinions establish the value I place on my own life choices”
I find it so hilarious that random strangers on the Internet have such strong opinions on people they’ve never met, haven’t talked to since high school or don’t know anything about. Seriously, what’s up with that?? But these are 10% of the responses you get when you decide to actively share your life on social media. I’ve learned to not care. No one that follows you knows the intricacies of your day-to-day life. They only know what you choose to put out to the world. That’s like going to a doctor who attended one quarter of their classes in med school – you would NEVER take advice from them. Similar thing here.
#12 – “Apologizing when you have hurt someone who really matters to you takes nothing away from you”
Apologizing is a huge sign of strength. To stand up and say “hey, I messed up and I feel badly about it, I’m sorry, can you forgive me?” is not only terrifying, but freeing. We will never make it all the way through life without making mistakes or saying things we regret. In fact, these things happen quite frequently, but it’s okay. I think we all need to make a conscience effort to be kind to each other. Like my Momma says “it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.”
#17 – “Essentially don’t sleep in makeup and ‘be nicer to [your] skin'”
Including this because after certain nights of going out until all hours of the morning or ending up at Stoney’s, a girl cannot be bothered to take her makeup off – it me. So I need to get better at that. Luckily I still have some time to learn this lesson.
#19 – “Playing mind games is for the chase”
Be straight up with the people you love, the people you want in your life and the people you need to keep out of your life. I’m working on this. That’s all.
#20 – “Learning the difference between lifelong friendships and situationships”
This one hit me the hardest. It’s something I’ve never been able to articulate until now. And it’s difficult to talk about because how many people from college do we really still talk to on a regular basis? For me, I could probably count that on one hand. Sure we’re Facebook friends and oh look who got engaged but it will never be like it was back in the day. This is something I’ve really struggled with after leaving college. We had so much fun and living with and next door to my best friends was thee absolute time of my life. Having my small house parties turn into absolute ragers was an adventure (now the thought of that happening today gives me hives). Like Andy Bernard of The Office says – “I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days before you’ve actually left them.”
#24 – “I give all of my worry, stress, and prayers to real problems now.”
Look…at the end of the day there are much bigger things than our jobs (unless we’re medical, life-saving professionals) or what we’re wearing or who cut us off in traffic. It goes back to point number five. Just chill out and try to find the good things in every single damn day.
#25 – “Suffering isn’t required to make good art”
Stephen King also discusses this in “On Writing” and it’s an interesting concept. Something I’m still pondering.
#27 – “I learned that disarming someone’s petty bullying can be as simple as learning to laugh”
One of the most important lessons I’ve learned is that people are rarely assholes because they woke up and chose to be. I witnessed this in college and I’ve carried it through to adulthood. Whenever I experience someone being an asshole, I take a step back and consider they type of day, week or life said asshole is having. There is a lot of truth to the statement “hurt people, hurt people.”
#29 – “Your hair can completely change texture”
Now this is the one that genuinely scares me. I love my curls and they have always been my thing. But I do see what she’s saying. I have pieces that are straighter than others and I’m always surprised and sadden when my second (third) day hair straightens itself out. We’ll see, pray for my hair.
#30 – “Forgiving ourselves”
Easier said than done, especially for those of us with anxiety. I can remember stupid, leetle things I said or did around people I don’t even talk to anymore nor care about their opinion. Like I went on maybe three dates with that guy so why does that awkward thing I said keep popping up into my head? (I’m being very serious here – why?!). At the end of the day, I think all we can really do is remember that no one and I mean no one is perfect and we all say or do stupid shit.