There can be quite a few misconceptions about Las Vegas and I’m sure I haven’t even heard them all. I thought I would provide y’all with a handy little guide of things that you should never assume while in Las Vegas. You know, just to help you out before you get here.
1. The girl you’re talking to is a tourist. Some of us local chicks can and do frequent The Strip.
2. The local girl you’re talking to is a prostitute or a stripper. Believe it or not, those aren’t the only two occupations for women in Las Vegas.
3. The dude buying you a drink at the bar, whether local or tourist, is single. Hahaha. It’s not funny. But it does happen.
4. The guy you’re buying coke from isn’t a cop.
5. The coke you’re buying from that guy is actually coke. (I think we all remember The Hangover??)
6. The cop you just walked by isn’t a drug dealer.
7. You’ve consumed enough water. Trust me…you have not.
8. You’re going to have a “mellow night out.” Again, hahahaha.
9. You don’t need to be on time for shows, clubs, reservations, etc. Just because “it’s Vegas” does not mean you can show up whenever you please. Failing to show up on time when it’s scheduled or reserved is not only rude, but I’ve seen people lose dinner reservations and club tables due to tardiness. Not to mention, if you’re on a guest list at a club and you show up too late, you won’t be getting in for free, if at all. Which brings me to…
10. You’re going to get into a club wearing jeans. Trust me you will not. As “trashy” as some people proclaim Vegas to be, a dress code is very much alive and well here. Please try to look like you didn’t just chug beer and cheap margs at the pool all day. Don’t be the one in the couple who shows up as a hot mess while the other is dressed to the nines. HUGE pet peeve of mine to see while out. Also guys…don’t wear white shoes to clubs. You won’t get in, I swear. Plus, dressing up is fun and the people who get all the attention are the ones who look the most presentable. Or have the biggest hair.
11. You will pay less than $15 for a drink most places on The Strip. Yeah you read that correctly, the average starting price is $15. The mixed drinks I end up purchasing usually hover in the $18-$20 range. Two years ago I found this absolutely ridiculous. Today, I’ve learned the importance of the pregame.
I hope you enjoyed some of the observations I’ve made on a fairly consistent basis. If I’ve provided a lesson, good. If I’ve provided a laugh, even better!