Today did not go as I had planned.
I planned on getting up nice and early and going for a run. Didn’t happen.
I planned on having some down time this afternoon to work on a different post I had in mind for today. Didn’t happen.
We’re learning new things at work that involve data and numbers. Yeah, I know, COMPLETELY opposite of what I am as a human. I fucked up part of the project I’m working on, not once, but twice AND the entire office got to hear about it on an email chain. Good Hell.
You could say that today I felt pretty out of control which, as a self-admitted control freak, is not an easy thing to confess on a blog.
The one thing I knew I had to do was go to my Wednesday night Hot Power Vinyasa yoga class (that I hadn’t been to for a few weeks) because it was my teacher’s last night teaching.
It kicked my ass. I knew it was going to be hard due to my break from it, but good Lord it was a struggle.
After shaking, silently cursing and creating a small lake of sweat on the floor next to me, my teacher ended the class by saying “just by getting on the mat you are doing enough.” Immediately, my entire day and the leftover stress fell out of my brain.
On days like today, just showing up can be enough.
Which can be hard if you have a million tasks to get done in several different areas of your life AND you’re on a timeline. It’s easy for me to look at my day and say “I should have done this and this and this.” However, it’s much more comforting to say “you made it through today and that is enough.”
You must know, I really hate everything I’m saying if I’m being honest. As much as I want to be ok with my not-so productive day, there is a small part of my brain that is not happy with me aka Mr. Anxiety. I think if my anxiety was in human form, he would be sassy and fierce.
Let’s be real…it would be RuPaul. Telling me to lip sync for my life. Or at least to keep packing boxes.
This is an important point to mention (not about RuPaul lol). We see people online, telling us how to feel and what to think and we’re on the other side thinking they must have it all together and know exactly what they are talking about. So naturally, we should listen to them. Naturally.
I am not one of these people and I am happy to admit when I don’t know something. Or, if I’m struggling with something.
So maybe we all need to give ourselves a break? Maybe we need to take some of that compassion from yesterday and use it on ourselves?
And maybe we need a Leslie Knope GIF to carry us out. Yes, still loving Parks and Rec by the way!