let’s have a toast to the….rumpelstiltskins?

Hey y’all, a little insight/personal therapy for you today!

If you know me, you know I pride myself on being pretty tough. It’s the whole “sticks and stones” mentality – what I’ve been taught from the beginning. My whole existence is based on the fact that I am unique and I am WEIRD. I have my likes, dislikes and I am NOT afraid to be real with my people if they want my honest advice!

Due to this, I’ve received a lot of hate throughout life for expressing these (sometimes) unpopular opinions on a plethora of topics. So this is definitely NOT a new concept for me and to that point, I have NO problem with people taking issue with who I am as an individual.

Like I always say, you do you and I’ll do me and if we’re not supposed to be friends, then, COOL! You can go stew in your own bullshit and move along with the beautiful day at hand. We don’t have to see or interact with each other, in person or on the social medias. It’s really the best, most care-free way to live your life! : )

So, what happens when you can’t banish the Rumpelstiltskins back to the forrest in which they live? What happens if that troll is in one of your social circles? These are the questions I’ve attempted to dissect for the last couple weeks.

Here’s the scenario:

There is a certain human who happens to dwell in one of my social circles (there are many: work, gym, apartment community/neighbors – this is vague on purpose) and has become the Rumpelstiltskin (hereby known as “Rumpel”) of my life recently.

I’m forced to interact with Rumpel almost everyday. And, almost everyday, Rumpel has something to say about my life. Whether I’m answering the question of what I gave up for Lent or my recent venture to California during the actual apocalypse (as seen on SNAP: @jessicalynnn12), Rumpel HAS to have an opinion. About something that doesn’t even affect their life. Did I mention that Rumpel also happens to be about twice my age? Hmm.

So yeah, this is annoying, but my life has prepared me to deal with it. However, when it happens nearly EVERYDAY, whenever I open my mouth, it begins to get old.

But, wait…what does Rumpelstiltskin have to do with any of this? A little history lesson…

Rumpelstiltskin is actually a German fairy tale, so basically I feel like Dwight Schrute sharing this story with y’all. You’re welcome.

{Side Note: I tend to think that Dwight makes up part of my spirit animal, which has a lot of components. Wow, this sounds crazy.}



If you don’t remember the fairy tale, Rumpel comes to save the day when the daughter of the miller is not able to complete her task of spinning straw into gold. Rumpel makes it happen and each time he does, the daughter has to give him something of hers. Near the end of the story, Rumpel makes her promise her first born child unless she can guess his name. At this point, she goes into the forrest where Rumpel lives and hears him chanting his own name. *Idiot – Dwight voice* In the end, she correctly guesses his name and he runs away and never comes back. THE END!

I’ll admit, I have no idea what I was thinking when I named this troll Rumpel. As I refreshed myself on this fairy tale, I quickly realized that Rumpel was not a troll that lived under a bridge, but a sneaky little goblin that lived in a forrest and got pissed when called out on his own bullshit.

Back to it..

It would be easy to say:


*Rumpel* and just declare them a terrible person who dances around in the forrest and cares far too much about other people’s lives. But that would be putting a bandaid over a bullet wound and that just makes absolutely no sense.

Since I do have to interact with Rumpel on an ongoing basis, I have to carefully pick my battles and only call out the bullshit when necessary. When my opinions are challenged, my first reaction is SCREAM! FIGHT! GO CRAZY! F*** YOU AND YOUR STUPID LIFE!

{Aggressive, much?}

However, I have to take a step back and remember that I am an adult (kind of) and not a child. I’m not in Kindergarten and that bitch isn’t stealing my carpet square or best friend from me (actually happened). It’s not St. Paddy’s (yet) and it’s not appropriate for the Irish in me to get into a drunken pub brawl (again I say – yet).

I have to practice self-control and remember how bitchy I can get myself when I’m unsatisfied with the state of things in my life. Which might just be the case with Rumpel.

Maybe Rumpel really is upset with their own life? Maybe they’re intimated by the fact that someone half their age is driving to California for fun on the weekends. Or that I’m challenging myself by giving up something for Lent. Maybe Rumpel wants to be living life on their own terms, but hasn’t found the courage to do so yet?

It’s easy to pick on people who are so open with their lives because they put it all out there. It’s so satisfying to tear people down who have what we want when we haven’t found the courage to go out and get it for ourselves.

Even as recently as about a year and a half ago, I possessed this mentality. I spent countless hours wasting energy on someone who was living a life I wanted, but hadn’t found the courage to reach out and take for myself. COUNTLESS. HOURS. Wishing this person all the negative mental energy my tiny frame could muster. Talk about exhausting!

Think of all the time I could have spent being productive for myself and not trying to wish someone else harm. Think of all the words I could have written, kettlebells I could have lifted, miles I could have run and calories I could have melted while dancing and drinking Patron. (Damn, perspective.)

So, I get it. I’ve been there. But thank Jesus I learned to cut that shit. (Can you say “Jesus” and “shit” in the same sentence? YOLO.)

Compassion is the emotion that comes up when looking at all of the above. Simply, because, I’ve been there. I understand that pain. I’m certainly not perfect and I’m not completely beyond the point of pettiness, but I have learned enough to recognize that this nonsense isn’t about me. It’s about the fact that, this individual is unhappy.

People who are generally satisfied with their own lives don’t take every opportunity to criticize others for living their lives the way they want. People who are generally satisfied with their lives honestly don’t give a fuck about what other people are doing (usually – again, no one is perfect!)

I’m truly beginning to believe this case is no different. And as hard as it may be, I’m going to have to remember to have self-control and only call the bullshit out occasionally. I’m going have to embody an otter and let that shit slide off my back like water (I wanted to be a marine biologist – lol).


So the next time I get shit for living MY life on MY terms, I’m going to take a step back and remember to have some compassion for those who can’t. I’m going to carefully and strategically choose when to call out good ol’ Rumpel on their bullshit and maybe send some healing energy and little prayer their way, because, why not? What can it hurt to have another person in this world satisfied with their life?

Hopefully you can relate and possibly even apply this to your own life! Grandmother Willow and her advice signing off for now!


Author: Jess

Las Vegas local / writer, creator, festival goer, explorer, marketer, promoter, special event & experience curator

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