Welp, this is exactly why I don’t commit to anything lightly. Two days into BLOGtober and I fucked it up. I failed the mission to post a blog everyday in this great month we are experiencing. And I started to beat myself up over it, but then I realized something really important. Which led me to this blog post. Which now brings us to the thesis of today’s entry:
Yes that’s right Justin Bieber, there is more to it than just loving yourself. I am now of firm believer and soap boxer preacher of the fact that you cannot love yourself until you forgive yourself.
I get that it’s not an easy task. It’s truly, truly not. Except recently, I’ve discovered just how necessary it is.
I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life. A. LOT. To add to that, I’ve done and said a lot of things that are so worthy of the “Cringe of The Year” Award. Swear to Cheesecake Factory you guys, I’ve said things that, thinking about them now, make me want to go sit in the corner of my closet with my fall boots, cover up with my leopard print Snuggie and scream.
For real, it’s been that bad. But at the same time, every single word was true.
Whether I was telling someone I was sick of games and wanted a relationship or I was asking them creepily where they lived (for clarification purposes, of course) – everything I said, I stand by.
This week, in my opinion, has been particularly cringe-y, but has also opened my eyes. Why you may ask? Because I finally embraced my inner Siggy Flicker and STOPPED CARING!
“Some people think I’m too much. They’re absolutely right!”
I’ve loved her and the tagline since the new season began, but I always found myself arguing why it couldn’t be mine. Whether I was justifying how I needed to “play things safe” for the sake of a future career or whatever it was that I was justifying, I always put it back down. The motto wasn’t mine, not because I didn’t want it to be, but because it “couldn’t be.”
This week I called BULLSHIT and that all changed. Plus, Siggy responded and retweeted me today, so, YASS!🙌
Some background info: It wasn’t until the end of my 23rd year (December 2015) that I not only realized, but I started to own “my crazy”. And lately I’ve started embracing it even more by sharing it with the world.
Because I got such a great reaction when I let myself get hella competitive while playing (and winning) 5 consecutive flip cup games with my office director at the work happy hour on Tuesday. Or the amused responses I receive when I let myself be 100% authentic (and hilarious) on Snapchat. (@jessicalynnn12 – do it.)
And that’s the kind of shit I love. Being my crazy, hilarious, authentic self. All I’ve been hearing lately is to “be yourself and you’ll attract the right people” and I’ve finally forgiven myself of the cringe-y stuff I do and say daily because I doubt it’s changing anytime soon – and why would I want it to?!
Once you can forgive yourself, it allows you to fully understand how awesome you are, and after that you can be EXACTLY who you are regardless of what people think because the right people, the people who are meant to be in your life will find you, stick around, and support you.
Like my best friend Jordan says, “If you have haters, you’re doing something right.” I agree amigo, I agree.
So what I’m going to The 1975 next week solo? So what that I don’t have anyone to go to Kanye with at the end of the month? I find myself to be such good company now that I’ve forgiven myself for being me. Why would I let anything or the lack of anyone stop me from doing everything and anything I want to do with my one, short life.
To end, I’ll leave you with some words from my wise Patricio (my dad):
“Life is either a grand adventure or nothing at all”
(No this isn’t his quote, but he says it all the time so he gets partial credit)
So forgive, then love and embrace yourself and go on the biggest adventure you can imagine! Turn up the Bieber! Live your dreams! Make a friend! Go play in traffic on Las Vegas Boulevard!
Ok, that last one, don’t do. I see it too much. I live on LVB and I can’t stand the humans that don’t use the crosswalk.
Anyway, Adios til next time my Adventure Amigos!
PS – I’m a sucker for an alliteration. Makes my heart sing.
PSS – Does my sarcasm and hilarity transfer through words? Or am I going to have to start a YouTube channel? Serious question.
*Siggy GIF is from eonline.com